It’s been said to me that I don’t subscribe to Christianity because I never knew the love of Christ. To those I say that I once believed as fervently as any pew-squatting blue hair. Young me, a doe-eyed empty vessel, was an earnest Christian, indoctrinated by once a week church and Sunday school,
baptized and joined the church. I prayed, agonized over my sins, hated atheists and blasphemy, sang the songs, spent my Wednesday nights at YF, the whole nine yards. For some time I even toyed with the idea of becoming a pastor.
Until one day in high school I decided to actually sit down and read the Bible, after all every subscriber should sit down and read the operator’s manual. Suddenly I stopped reading, finding the violence and apathy therein disgusting and intellectually insulting. For fear of tarnishing my faith my Good News Bible got tossed into a box in my parents’ basement.
I did not stop identifying myself as Christian but no longer wanted to defend the text, but no longer wanted to go to seminary. Like many others the idea of a personal god still comforted me. I turned off that questioning part of my mind, having figured something wrong with me and needed time to figure it
out. Years later I decided to try reading the Bible again, and thinking a different version would do tried
the King James Version. Perhaps there was a problem with the translation. This time I did not stop. A god with an inexplicable anger complex (Numbers 16:41-49) rose up in the pages and killing often seemingly for no reason whatsoever, a love-thy-neighbor savior developed a split personality disorder (Matthew 10:34), and so much of the book contradicted what was presented as acceptable behavior in church and civilized society (Judges 19:22-29).
The questions began plaguing me again. I wondered why God would create a whole planet of people and provide the law to just one chosen people (Deuteronomy 14:2).
I wondered how a book divinely inspired could have so knowledge of disease, cosmology, geology, etc
(Matthew 4:24, Genesis 1:6-8, Ezekiel 7:2).
I wondered why God would “harden hearts” to subvert man’s free will, especially to do right (Exodus 9:12).
I wondered how an infallible god made so many mistakes and later regretted them (Genesis 6:7).
I wondered why we pray for things but God’s will is predetermined. Can we change His mind? Does He
not know what we need better than ourselves?
I wondered why God was a "jealous god" when he was supposed to be the only one (Exodus
20:5).
Almost no one you know has read the whole Bible, and those that claim to be conversant got the selective Sunday school version. My devoted Christian mother devotedly sits in her pew, listening to a man who sifted the feel good wheat from the ugly chaff. Imagine if her preacher would read aloud from Judges 19 before her and the rest of the congregation:
22 While they were enjoying themselves, some of the wicked men of the city surrounded the house. Pounding on the door, they shouted to the old man who owned the house, “Bring out the man who came to
your house so we can have sex with him.”
23 The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man
is my guest, don’t do this outrageous thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But as for this man, don’t do such an outrageous thing.”
25 But the men would not listen to him. So the man took his concubine and sent her outside to them, and they raped her and abused her throughout the night, and at dawn they let her go. 26 At daybreak the
woman went back to the house where her master was staying, fell down at the door and lay there until daylight.
27 When her master got up in the morning and opened the door of the house and stepped out to continue
on his way, there lay his concubine, fallen in the doorway of the house, with her hands on the threshold. 28 He said to her, “Get up; let’s go.” But there was no answer. Then the man put her on his donkey and set out for home.
29 When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and
sent them into all the areas of Israel. 30 Everyone who saw it was saying to one another, “Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Just imagine! We must do
something! So speak up!”
-New International Version (NIV)
Seriously, WTF?! No remotely sane pastor dare read it out loud, though it is part of the holiest of books. So
crude and explicit - imagine the faces of the mothers, covering the ears of their children. And this is just one of the many shit nuggets those much flogged pages can provide.
Now I have heard the argument that the Bible is not to be literally interpreted but is allegory, but what kind of message should I derive from the Levite priest? This story as much any other is the reason that I cannot take the Bible for all its nonsensical bronze age reasoning seriously anymore. It was meant to be taken literally and as example of how we are to live our lives.
Don’t get me started on starving pagan babies of the 3rd World going to Hell.
*Note that all Bible citations are representative examples of which I could have given dozens. Don’t
take my (or anyone else’s) word for it. Look them up for yourselves.
baptized and joined the church. I prayed, agonized over my sins, hated atheists and blasphemy, sang the songs, spent my Wednesday nights at YF, the whole nine yards. For some time I even toyed with the idea of becoming a pastor.
Until one day in high school I decided to actually sit down and read the Bible, after all every subscriber should sit down and read the operator’s manual. Suddenly I stopped reading, finding the violence and apathy therein disgusting and intellectually insulting. For fear of tarnishing my faith my Good News Bible got tossed into a box in my parents’ basement.
I did not stop identifying myself as Christian but no longer wanted to defend the text, but no longer wanted to go to seminary. Like many others the idea of a personal god still comforted me. I turned off that questioning part of my mind, having figured something wrong with me and needed time to figure it
out. Years later I decided to try reading the Bible again, and thinking a different version would do tried
the King James Version. Perhaps there was a problem with the translation. This time I did not stop. A god with an inexplicable anger complex (Numbers 16:41-49) rose up in the pages and killing often seemingly for no reason whatsoever, a love-thy-neighbor savior developed a split personality disorder (Matthew 10:34), and so much of the book contradicted what was presented as acceptable behavior in church and civilized society (Judges 19:22-29).
The questions began plaguing me again. I wondered why God would create a whole planet of people and provide the law to just one chosen people (Deuteronomy 14:2).
I wondered how a book divinely inspired could have so knowledge of disease, cosmology, geology, etc
(Matthew 4:24, Genesis 1:6-8, Ezekiel 7:2).
I wondered why God would “harden hearts” to subvert man’s free will, especially to do right (Exodus 9:12).
I wondered how an infallible god made so many mistakes and later regretted them (Genesis 6:7).
I wondered why we pray for things but God’s will is predetermined. Can we change His mind? Does He
not know what we need better than ourselves?
I wondered why God was a "jealous god" when he was supposed to be the only one (Exodus
20:5).
Almost no one you know has read the whole Bible, and those that claim to be conversant got the selective Sunday school version. My devoted Christian mother devotedly sits in her pew, listening to a man who sifted the feel good wheat from the ugly chaff. Imagine if her preacher would read aloud from Judges 19 before her and the rest of the congregation:
22 While they were enjoying themselves, some of the wicked men of the city surrounded the house. Pounding on the door, they shouted to the old man who owned the house, “Bring out the man who came to
your house so we can have sex with him.”
23 The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man
is my guest, don’t do this outrageous thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But as for this man, don’t do such an outrageous thing.”
25 But the men would not listen to him. So the man took his concubine and sent her outside to them, and they raped her and abused her throughout the night, and at dawn they let her go. 26 At daybreak the
woman went back to the house where her master was staying, fell down at the door and lay there until daylight.
27 When her master got up in the morning and opened the door of the house and stepped out to continue
on his way, there lay his concubine, fallen in the doorway of the house, with her hands on the threshold. 28 He said to her, “Get up; let’s go.” But there was no answer. Then the man put her on his donkey and set out for home.
29 When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and
sent them into all the areas of Israel. 30 Everyone who saw it was saying to one another, “Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Just imagine! We must do
something! So speak up!”
-New International Version (NIV)
Seriously, WTF?! No remotely sane pastor dare read it out loud, though it is part of the holiest of books. So
crude and explicit - imagine the faces of the mothers, covering the ears of their children. And this is just one of the many shit nuggets those much flogged pages can provide.
Now I have heard the argument that the Bible is not to be literally interpreted but is allegory, but what kind of message should I derive from the Levite priest? This story as much any other is the reason that I cannot take the Bible for all its nonsensical bronze age reasoning seriously anymore. It was meant to be taken literally and as example of how we are to live our lives.
Don’t get me started on starving pagan babies of the 3rd World going to Hell.
*Note that all Bible citations are representative examples of which I could have given dozens. Don’t
take my (or anyone else’s) word for it. Look them up for yourselves.